Last summer, the left in America found itself in an uncomfortable position when it briefly realized—but then swiftly memory-holed—that Ukraine is “transphobic.” Suddenly, support for trans people and support for Ukraine—the ruling class’s cardinal virtues—were at irreconcilable odds against each other.
“Trans People Leaving Ukraine Face Danger and Transphobia,” panicked Teen Vogue, a great disseminator of dross, rubbish, and other signs of cultural decay. “War brings urgency to fight for LGBT rights in Ukraine,” agreed The Guardian.
“You have to leave Kyiv,” one transgender “woman” warned another, “because there is a very dangerous group of [Ukrainian] transphobes and homophobes. They move around the city and hurt people like us.”
In other words, if anyone in America had views about trans people as “primeval” as the Ukrainians, they would swiftly be condemned. No unqualified, for-as-long-as-it-takes support from President Biden. No $135 billion in financing. Nothing.
But hold your chuckles, because these are Ukrainians we're talking about—special exceptions, naturally.
The ruling class quickly forgot the horrors of Ukraine's vicious assault on “trans rights” and doubled down on galvanizing the American public in support of the war. They continued to wave—and fiat the waving of—both Pride flags and the Ukrainian flag, even as LGBTQ+ people fled Ukraine. Weird. A laughably comparable scenario was when a bunch of liberal Muslims took over a city council in Michigan, which the left hailed as “a symbolic but meaningful rebuke of the Islamophobic rhetoric that was a central theme of… Donald Trump’s campaign,” until said Muslims banned the Pride flag.
Luckily for the ruling class, another of its cardinal virtues (in addition to support for LGBTQ people, support for Ukraine, and support for Muslims) is inconsistency, which is absolutely necessary for juggling the other three virtues simultaneously.
But lo and behold! Ukraine is making some “progress”—perhaps a stipulation of $135 billion in American support.
Political commentator Michael Knowles recently uncovered that the "spokesman for the Ukrainian military is an American transvestite named Michael ‘Sarah’ Cirillo. Because of course he is."
🧵 The spokesman for the Ukrainian military is an American transvestite named Michael “Sarah” Cirillo. Because of course he is. (1/) pic.twitter.com/1mMiaAJSvY
— Michael Knowles (@michaeljknowles) August 18, 2023
You see, even while repelling murderous invaders, Ukraine still took the time to overhaul its “barbaric” stance on transgenderism. Liberal fears from last year assuaged, Kyiv went full-blown woke almost overnight! Now, of course, the ruling class will have even more reason to fund the war; the federal government is now accepting demanding donations for Ukrainian military spokespeople from U.S. taxpayers. For the small price of an additional dozen billion dollars or so, we might even persuade Zelenskyy himself to become trans! This would check off yet another box for woke cardinal virtues Ukraine is sorely lacking in: women leadership.
Ukraine, you're not off the hook just yet. A white transgender spokesperson is certainly a step in the right direction, but a black, Muslim transgender would be an even better one. C'mon, Ukraine, chop-chop!
