It used to be that when a child acted out and gave into their hysteria, we would take the child aside, try to comfort them, or give them a time out to calm down.
Hysteria is not a strategy for grownups. Sadly, we often see it in our public discourse from the media, politicians, community leaders, friends, neighbors, parents, and even religious leaders.
Worse, more and more people are acting out, online and in public.
Oh, I know, the feeling. I sometimes feel exactly like tearing into the lot of them, as the constant insults, hysterical accusations, and literal insanity becomes too much.
Experience, faith, and life teach us to be better than that. Loving our friends is no big deal. Loving our enemies--those that disagree with us loudly and acerbically--is a pretty heavy ask. But that is the deal. There is no waiver for politics or pandemics if we desire to live in a civilized society.
As we continue through this temporary difficulty, this is the perfect time to share our patience, kindness, and grace to those with whom we disagree. This is the time to be our better selves. This is the time where hearts and minds can be changed through the power of the human spirit.
Calming a child’s heart requires patience. It requires kindness. It takes self-control, wisdom, understanding.
Grace is defined as poise, courtesy, politeness, civility, decency, humility, love, and mercy. This is the world I hope that we all aspire to, especially in this time. The First Lady of the United States Melania Trump addresses this time with her Initiate Be Best.
When I heard this announced two years ago, I was not particularly impressed. It seemed almost forced, like she had to do something. Today it takes on an entirely new meaning. When facing a pandemic, encouraging each other to cultivate positive health, social, emotional, and physical habits seems timely indeed.
So how do we “be best” in this time?
If we stop and think about the concept of fear, a strategy of understanding, patience, and kindness makes logical sense. But in the middle of something like a pandemic, it is easy to get logic-blind, to become blunted spiritually, and to lash out in anger or fear.
I want to encourage us to resist the temptation to fly off the handle and return angst with angst. Resist the urge to snap back in anger or feed our fears with hysteria.
All things considered, life is good. The sun continues to rise each morning. Most of us still have a roof over our heads, electricity, internet, and endless entertainment outlets to distract us.
Some of us have more free time than we’ve ever experienced in our lives. Many of us continue our work, with "home office" taking on new meaning. All of us have experienced worry.
The next time you hear something contrary to what you believe or experience someone lashing out in anger, remember they are also experiencing fear. It is up to us to bring calm, to comfort our neighbor, and to show love to that stranger. Love means grace, kindness, understanding, and it means forgiving rather than scolding.
It is said that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but finds joy in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It is possible that the most important things we can do in this time is to remember that fear can be overwhelming. Practicing love, understanding, and patience in our daily interactions can literally help someone replace fear and hopelessness with calm and peace.
Imagine the outcome if this is the result of this difficult time how blessed we will all be.
Some may call this pollyannaish nonsense. Maybe so. But maybe, just maybe, we can change despair into hope and fear into peace. Just maybe, we can lead with our best.
We’re All in this Together
“We’re all in this together” is most often heard from the wealthy, those with substantial income, and those with jobs that are guaranteed unless the entire nation collapses.
I read yesterday that 400,000 people have left New York City, nearly all of whom are in the top 1% income bracket. Yeah, all in this together.
I also read from more than one “leader” that we have to incentivize people to go to work and unemployment payments are too high.
We, all of us, have never lived through this kind of event. There are no experts. And on the topic of experts, they’ve been just about 100% wrong at every stage of this thing so far. With over 36 million people out of work, finding work will be difficult for some time.
Someone close to me worked full time in the restaurant industry. She has done so for many years. She has been out of work for 60 days, has been denied unemployment three times. She cannot reach a human to find out why.
So she’s had zero income for two months. I know that she’s not alone.
I’ve read that 40% of households with $40,000 in income or less have lost their job. Those least likely to have a substantial amount of cash live with uncertainty and no timeline for hope of working again.
Let’s remember that we are absolutely not all in this together.
I bristle at this and most of the marketing phrases we keep hearing. While I’m not a big believer in large conspiracies, I do believe big government and the billionaire class would love to have even more control. And as we are seeing around the country, they are already acting like they do.
Millions of Americans are teetering on the edge of hunger, worried about losing their apartment or home, while also fearful of a virus.
More compassion and less judgment will go a long way. The ruling class have no idea what Americans are actually facing with each new day.
It is up to us to care for each other. It is up to us to do what we can to ensure our family, friends, and neighbors have hope. And in the interim, maybe a meal or two.
Sources
The Richest Neighborhoods Emptied Out Most As Coronavirus Hit New York City
Fed Chair Powell Just Said 40% of households making less than $40,000 a year lost jobs in March
