It’s that time again: election time.
An epidemic that seems to come around every other year is running rampant throughout Washington, D.C., once again. The disease that causes this epidemic appears to be non-lethal, at least from a physical standpoint, but may result in the “political death” of some of those suffering from it, and on occasion can result in self-inflicted “political suicide.”
Fortunately, this disease only affects elected officials of our federal government and therefore is not a health concern for the majority of American citizens.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has named this rare disease “Electile Dysfunction,” or ED as it is more commonly known.
Treatment is limited to taking large doses of “Lie-agra” in hopes of limiting the amount of permanent brain damage caused by the disease, but as evidenced by many of our longer term elected officials such as Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, and Mitch McConnell, has proven to be largely ineffective.
Common symptoms of ED are:
- Incoherent babbling by the affected person, especially when exposed to a microphone or TV camera
- The loss of all ability to apply logic or reason to anything more complex than voting for the incumbent
- An uncontrollable spasm of the hands which causes them to extend outward from the body, palm up and fingers curled, ready to accept money from political supporters
- The use of strange terms such as “Blue Wave” or “Red Tsunami”
- The inability to utter a complete sentence that doesn’t contain the words “Impeachment” or “Russian collusion.”
The disease also prevents the affected individuals from accomplishing anything while infected, which is actually one of the positive aspects of the disease. It is during this period that the country has less damage inflicted upon it than it does by these same individuals when not infected by the disease.
Remarkably, the symptoms of the disease seem to miraculously disappear within 24 hours of the polls closing on election day, except for those individuals who were defeated at the polls.
These victims may continue to suffer from the disease for days, weeks, or months. Or, in the extreme case of Hillary Clinton, it can last forever.
Sadly, there is no cure for individuals suffering from the lingering form of this disease. The only recognized form of treatment is to “humor” them by putting them in a round room and telling them to go sit in the corner, or asking them to name their one greatest accomplishment without repeating themselves.
However, there is a way to prevent these individuals from becoming re-infected every two years. It’s called a Convention of States, and it gives We the People the power to impose term limits on our elected officials so that they will never be exposed to this disease again.
Won’t you join me and Convention of States in ridding the world of this horrid disease!
