Washington’s resident angry, crabby men are angry and crabby that Elon Musk is taking away their multibillion-dollar, taxpayer-funded playthings and putting their bloated government agencies on a much-needed diet.
For decades, Uncle Sam has dined sumptuously, and the American people have been forced to pick up the tab. But now that the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is peering over his shoulder (Robert F. Kennedy Jr. isn’t the only one keeping tabs on the government’s comestibles), Uncle Sam may have finally found the motivation to slim down.
Just this week, DOGE revealed that a staggering $4.7 trillion (nearly five million millions) “worth of payments from the Treasury Department are almost impossible to trace because of missing account identification codes.” Whoooooops! Only in Washington can a sum of money greater than the Apple company’s entire net worth simply vanish. Apparently, in addition to being a glutton, Uncle Sam is a magician, too!
Understandably, having someone like Musk poking around the books has made DC’s most extravagant spenders more than a bit nervous. Desperate times call for desperate measures…which may be why the panicky establishment media called up John Oliver to deliver a crushing, brutal, totally unsurvivable monologue labeling Musk a “parasitic freak” bent on “taking down the American government from within.”
Who’s next in the defend-DC’s-reputation-at-all-costs campaign? Michael Moore? Howard Stern? They might as well recruit Rick Warren to deliver a sermon twisting the parable of the prodigal son to say that, actually, the Bible is OK with wasting money.
The big-government apologists have tried just about everything to distract from the fact that Musk and his crew of young — can you believe it?? Young!! — DOGE reformers have exposed what should be massive federal scandals. Their logic is about as consistent as the books over at the Treasury Department: Just as Donald Trump has become the first “tyrant” in history to shrink the size of the government, Musk has become the first “oligarch” who wants less money involved in politics, they argue. And since they find it so insufferably annoying that Musk’s working with young people, they have rolled out their star octogenarian, the eternally uncombed, Brooklyn-accented socialist from Vermont, to make the case.
“In my opinion, what Musk and those around him are aggressively striving for is not novel,” Sen. Bernie Sanders complained in a nine-minute video announcing his national tour to “take on the oligarchy.” “It is not complicated, and it is not new. It is what ruling classes throughout history have always wanted and have always believed is theirs by right: more power, more control, and more wealth.”
Oh, I get it now. Musk, the same man seeking to strip the federal government of power, control, and wealth, is actually using it as a ruse to gain more power, control, and wealth. Clever.
Isn’t it strange, though, that the same people who are once again asking you to get angry about the “oligarchy” and the rich “one percent” are the very ones who stand to lose the most if Elon Musk succeeds? Convention of States proponents are no doubt familiar with this routine. Federal politicians have shamelessly trampled the Constitution, but whenever we seek to use Article V of the Constitution to rein in their authority, they accuse us of being “anti-constitutional.” To hear them tell it, we’d all live happily ever after (and they would’ve gotten away with it, too) if it weren’t for us meddling debt hawks, constitutionalists, and limited government purists!
But those of us on the outside looking in know better: we know that our six-trillion-dollar-per-year, 36-trillion-dollar-in-debt federal government is on a collision course with financial collapse if we don’t take back the reins. That’s why we don’t fall to pieces when men like Elon Musk take a microscope and chainsaw into Uncle Sam’s secretive vaults or the states make progress toward calling a convention to limit federal spending, power, and terms of office. The only ones who have any reason to worry are the politicians and establishmentarians who have built their careers off the backs of taxpayers and the government’s questionable wealth.
So what does Uncle Sam have to hide? If the federal government really is as incorruptible as they claim, he should welcome DOGE with open arms.
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The more Elon Musk uncovers… the more Washington panics
Published in Blog on February 18, 2025 by Jakob Fay
