As most Americans are aware, the federal government is required to pass a budget every year, in accordance with the U.S. Constitution, Article I, Section IX, Clause IX.
However, while this year's budget was indeed approved by the legislature, accusations that it “insufficiently addressed the threats to our democracy” caused an emergency session of Congress to be called to rewrite it free of any potential threats.
It was a landmark day when both houses of Congress unanimously approved the revised budget, along with various lobbyists and wealthy donors. Here is a consolidated summary of the budget for informational purposes:
- $8,000,000,000 for the allocation of smartphones and baby formula to illegal immigrants
- $10,000,000,000 for new suits, ties, slacks, tie clips, shoes, dress socks, and hair gel for the male staff members of the members of Congress
- $20,000,000,000 for new skirts, high heels, shirts, pantyhose, nail polish, perfume, hair clips, lip stick, eye shadow, foundation, hair spray, earrings, and nail extensions for the female staff members of Congress
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
- $2,000,000,000 for Dr. Antony Fauci for single-handedly saving us all (in addition to his annual salary and speaking fees and book royalties and forthcoming annual retirement)
- $270,000,000 for walkers, wheelchairs, canes, hearing aids, and assorted multi-vitamins for the senior members of Congress over the age of 75
- $40,000,000 for electric vehicles for the members of Congress
- $17,000,000,000 for gas-powered vehicles for the members of Congress after the electric vehicles inevitably break down
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
- $500,000,000 for bailouts to small businesses. Note: these funds are specifically set aside to bailout businesses in which one or more members of Congress have invested stocks or bonds.
- $10,000,000,000 for those sick parties the members of Congress like to throw
- $200,000,000 for the hospital bills,drunk driving tickets and legal fees associated with those sick parties the members of Congress like to throw
- $3,000,000,000 for the salaries of the children of the staff of the executive assistants of the executive supervisors of the commissioners of the chairpersonpeoples of the federal bureau of salary payments
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
- $5,110,000 for Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's emotional support villa in Martha's Vineyard
- $490,000,000 for the salaries of the elected officials currently investigating the usage of weather-based weaponry to defeat the National Socialist German Workers Party. While Congress is aware that the Nazis no longer pose a major threat to national defense, the usage of such things as lasers raining from orbit and tornadoes transporting paratroopers cannot be understated.
- $892,000,000 for Starbucks beverages and Nike shoes for underprivileged children
- $12,000,000,000 for all those special projects the members of Congress have not yet thought of, or forgot to mention, but are nevertheless vital to national infrastructure and the future of our democracy
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
- $1,100,000,000 for masks and face shields to the members of Congress and their staff when another variant inevitably comes down the pipe
- $770,000,000 for the creation of an essential new federal agency: D.E.A.D.H.O.R.S.E.S: Department of Enactment of Anti-Discrimination, Homophobic, Offensive, Racist, or Sexist Equity Standards
- $6,000,000 for the salaries for Kamala Harris' speechwriters, once some can be located
- $4,000,000,000 in reparations to tyrants, despots, oligarchs, autocrats, dictators, authoritarians, and other such individuals injured and abused by the creation of a free and independent society
- $8,000,000,000 in reparations from the members of Congress to the members of Congress, interest free in perpetuity
- $666,666,666 to George Soros for helping many members of Congress get elected
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
- $88,000,000 for the reconstruction of the White House into the newer, more inclusive Multicultural Rainbow Mansion.
- $33,000,000 for directional and informational signage for various government buildings, including: "This Way Out", "Stop", "Here's Where You Speak", "Ask Dr. Jill or Kamala", and "Just Read the Teleprompter. That Means You, Joe"
- $16,000,000,000 to stop climate change. The members of Congress have given assurances that this time it will work.
- $1,000,000,000 to Ukraine
There are, of course, some other minor expenses, such as infrastructure and defense, but such paltry sums have been given to these areas that they are hardly worth mentioning.
We jest…but this parody of federal spending is not entirely unimaginable. The only solution to preserving our Republic is an Article V Convention of States to ensure budgets like this are not enacted…EVER.
Learn more about Convention of States and volunteer to be part of THE SOLUTION that’s as big as the problem of an out-of-control federal government. Share this with a friend.
Join the movement that’s more than halfway to our goal of 34 states to pass the Article V Resolution. The convention is coming…pass it on.
